Dc0de:

1. "Shit, Alabama, where family "trees" look more like a Tap Root."
2. "This new drug has kept me outbreak free, and I can be teabagged every day!!! I've got my life back. Thanks mystery drug!!!"

Dementia:

1. "I mean, we can't have people thinking we're nice" (On channel)

Kerri C.

1. "I may be a blonde, but at least I get some things right."

Maxiez:

1. "I mean if i had a mac, I'd just run linux on it" (on channel)

Catonic:

1. Man, in Florida even the hitchhikers are old.
2. 731y doodle, commence dandeling.
3. if I get in the fucking car, I'm gonna nail the bitch for hours.
4. .....but then again cheerleaders rank just above or below "human sextoy" in my book
5. it's like morse code for the tone deaf..
6. nothing earns someone's trust like tazering them in the nuts.
7. I move to the beat of my own drummer...the only problem is he's epileptic.
8. "All work safe and no sheep..."
9. Quick! To the Titty-Bar, Alfred!
10. "You can spell therapist without 'the rapist'"
11. "Installing Windows is like masturbating with a belt sander -- it feels kinda good the first time, but you're left crippled and broken for life."
12. "I'd rather get in a drinking contest with Zaphod over some Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters than use Windows."
13. "I don't even have to *look* at food and I put on 5lbs"
14. "Treadmills are miracalous things. Computers equipped to exact revenge. It's like windows for everyone else"
15. "Occupation: Sperm Donor"
16. "Once you on the other side, shit just works"
17. [22:40] * jb7od is listening to [J-Live - Timeless (jbNET[SC2] - Crates of The Undead [2476])] at 30:16 (44 kHz, 64 kbps, mono)
[22:43] * Catonic_lp is listening to [The vacuum cleaner giving him head 00:23]

Ralph:

1. (Someone else "my mouth is dry.) Ralph: "How do u lactate"
2. "Your skin....I just wanna eat it!"
3. "When I'm done coloring my monkies I will......"

Audrey:

1. "Your an entertainer in your state of mind...of mine"

Pyro:

1. stick a feather in your hat and commence danteling.

Rob Fowler: (Dragon)

1. Cheerleading, it's dumb. The Velcroed on smiles. The bizarre arm movements stolen from the Navy signalmen's handbook.What's even dumber is that cheerleaders have no more impact on the game than the night janitorial staff. They don't even face the game. They face the crowd, lost in their bizarre MuffyWorld. They cheer, rah,smile, kiss, and hug. Meanwhile, the visiting team just scored three touchdowns against their guys. A UFO could land at the 30-yard line, and most cheerleaders would still be facing the other way yelling, "We got the fever!" This is the event in which 25 girls named Amber attempt to create a human tower, screaming, "Two! Four! Six! Eight!" while displaying all their gums at once. If cheerleading is a sport, Richard Simmons is a ballerina. No matter how freezing it is, they're out there in their skirts. What's that spell? Frostbite!

2. Free sex is like a warm toilet seat.... feels good but makes you wonder who was there before you.

3. The angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the heat of the meat, as augmented by the thrust of the bust, and inversely to the mass of the ass, so long as the bore of the whore remains constant.

Kazrik:

1. Get on Skype, typing is so last century

Max:

1. God gave me my gf, cause he doesn't like masturbation.

Kai:

1. If she ain't your girlfriend, stick it in the pooper.

PresMIke:

1. Man... that sux like karen...

Virgil:

1. (22:32:28) virgil: it's not bad
(22:32:31) virgil: currently at ~40GB
(22:32:44) virgil: wait
(22:32:45) virgil: incorrect
(22:32:53) virgil: 334MB
(22:33:01) virgil: 40GB was with anime.

Skydog:

1. "Life is nothing but a series of parties, and the time in between is spent waiting for the next one"

Aestetix:

1. "It's already as open as a whore on dollar day."

Jackelope:

1. "Don't do something stupid, that 'won't' get yourself killed."
2. "You find the most corrupt people in the cleanest of places."

Random Fifth Grader:

1. "I was taught not to complain, cause it will get you no where....but I think I was lied to!"

Random Friend

1. horny alcoholic geek

Kirsten

1. "Oh my gross!"

Doc

1. "The green is the green, you get what you pay for, its wasteful man." (flick)

WontonJoe

1. "you dont get time off in relationships, theres no vacation pay, and not really any gauranteed benefits."

Nathe

1. "The people who maintain their tools can't find their asses with both hands, even with someone else holding the flashlight."

dick_is_a_killer.mp3